All relationships aren't romantic relationships. Sometimes, friendships can be just as fulfilling or hurtful as romantic relationships.
I read a Scary Mommy blog about signs to look for when it's time to move away from the friendship. At the end of the blog, the moral is... don't assume all is lost until you get evidence that says there isn't a friendship. When you get that evidence, believe it.
Here are some of the signs discussed:
- The conversation is always negative: your friend is always dumping their problems on you. I mean, that's what friends are for, but it's about OTHER things, too. A friendship like this is not a friendship, it's a dependence.
- You find your friend to be a Drama Magnet. The extent of the conversation is always about the drama that they're having. It's hard to be friends with someone like that and those people tend to have narcisstic qualities.
- They always flake. Sure, life gets busy, but if they never make you a priority, move along to someone who will.
- You are always chasing them. Ever read the book "He's Just Not That Into You??"
- When you're going through a tough time, they aren't there. That's a drinking buddy, not a real friend.
- All you talk about is the past. They were your friend, but if you've grown and don't find any commonality, well....
- They are always offering unsolicited advice. That is a lack fo self affirmation on their part, they don't understand that others have different opinions than they do.
- You walk on egg shells around them. You never know if they will be fun or upset with you. Experts say that will raise your blood pressure higher than being around someone who is just always negative.
- You're locked in a competition. When you have good news, are they genuinely happy for you or do they have a backhanded comment?
- You dread their calls and texts. There. Is. Your. Sign.
It's hard to let go of a friendship you've worked on for a long time and shared some really great times, but you deserve to be treated well and that means surrounding yourself with love, not toxicity.